Kris Kristofferson the Almighty

STATS: Day count=278; theft count=1; rip-off count=1; tourist screw-up count=5.5; Chris’ photo count=2296; Emma’s photo count=120; touch-typing char/min=247; Poi skills mastered since last post: None 

After waxing lyrical about the charmingly rustic absence of decent roads throughout Laos in earlier posts, we have ever since been treated, in general, to smooth, tarmac roads. Either I could be accused of judging an entire country from first impressions or someone high up in Laos is reading this blog and pulled out all the stops to make our later journey as smooth as possible.

Vientiane is incredibly quiet – for a capital city. Oxted in rush hour would have more traffic. This makes it a very pleasant place to wander around, despite not really having a lot of ‘attractions’ to tick off. I did eat some lotus seeds though. Taste like chestnuts. We also visited a ‘Buddha park’ – a small park, or large garden, filled with various statues that are Buddha related. Created by the same guy who did the statue park that we visited in Nong Khai, Thailand, which is in fact just on the other side of the Mekong from Vientiane. The Thai one was more interesting, but there were some impressive and unusual items here. We stayed in Vientiane only a couple of days before moving southwards. First stop Na Hin, a tiny town, which sees few tourists, on the edge of a national park. Being intrepid explorers we got off a bus at a minor intersection in the middle of nowhere and hoped there would be some form of transport to take us to the town of Na Hin, 40km away. Luckily there was and by mid afternoon we had arrived. Being pretty rubbish intrepid explorers we had not considered the need to have enough cash on us to last until the next town along our journey, since ATMs were unheard of in such a small town. After the realisation that we could be a little short of money, and plans put in place to live off plates of steamed rice for a couple of days, we were saved by finding a bank (well, more of a desk with a guy sat behind it) that would change our left over Thai currency. Crisis averted.

The town of Na Hin was nice enough – we found a decent place to eat and a friendly guesthouse. The chickens playing outside our room were gradually reduced in number as a woman with a machete dispatched them.

The site we had come to see was a cave in the national park – Konglor cave – where you could hire a boat and be rowed (according to the guide book, engine-powered in reality) through the 7km of the cave. The 40km journey to the cave was as pretty as they always seem to be in this countryside – it is easy to get complacent with the views now – and despite the rain kids were still playing in their open houses. The inventiveness of their games is fascinating. Especially with flip-flops. We have seen them thrown, kicked, shoved and nudged in a variety of different game concoctions.

The boat ride through the cave was fun. In complete darkness other than the torches of our boat captain and navigator, the cave was big and impressive. We stopped after a little way to walk a short distance away from the river and where, with a flourish, the lights were switched on to illuminate fantastic stalactites and stalagmite formations.

The boat was narrow and shallow. We got wet from the water splashing over the sides into the boat. Then we got even wetter when the boat sank. Luckily the river was shallow as we had to climb out of the now completely waterlogged boat. The engine was flooded so we needed a tow back from another boat that was luckily coming back at the same time.

I didn’t know at the time but this cave is apparently home to the largest species of spider in the world – recently narrowly beating the bird-eating spiders of South America. We didn’t spot any spiders. Luckily.

Savannakhet is the 3rd largest city in Laos. It has a population of around 120,000 people. It also is a little dull. We stayed there a couple of nights without really doing very much. And it was raining. No longer the interesting, torrential downpour type rain that we have got used to, but the constant drizzle type rain that we will get used to again when we get back to the UK, I’m sure.

For the first time on this trip, in getting a bus out of the city we were asked to sign an insurance form. This did not inspire confidence. We understood why when we saw the state of the bus we were to spend the following 6 hours on. But we survived, as did the bus, although we arrived too late at our destination (Pakse) to get our intended onward connection, so we instead changed our plans and stayed in Pakse and hired a motorbike the following day to visit our ultimate location – the Wat Phou ruins near Champasak.

Wat Phou is a set of Khmer ruins. Angkor need not worry, but they were interesting enough to visit. After wading through waterlogged fields to get there, I was pleased to find a nice natural spring just behind the temple ruins and proceeded to wash my grubby feet. Emma kindly pointed out that this was a sacred spring and washing oneself in it was not the done thing. Luckily no one was watching. Oops. This would certainly be an increase in Jason’s proposed “Number of holy relics desecrated” statistic.

What was a lovely bike ride out to the ruins along 30km of nicely compacted dirt track with just the odd pothole to avoid turned into a major challenge on the return leg. One hour of rain and a few trucks had turned the track into a muddy quagmire, still with the same potholes but which were now hidden beneath water or a light and slippery covering of mud. Challenging but great fun, I thought. Not sure the bike hire guy agreed with me when he saw the state of the bike I returned though!

Many of the trucks, buses and vans out here sport various stickers and adornments. Che Guevara seems to play a prominent part – ironic that one of the most famous faces of communism has spawned such a capitalist market in T shirts and stickers in this part of the world. I also kept seeing Kris Kristofferson’s face stuck on the side of vehicles. Strange, I thought. Maybe “Convoy” or the “Blade” trilogy has a large following in Asia. It has recently dawned on me that it probably the face of Jesus, rather than Mr Kristofferson. It would probably make more sense.

We are now leaving Laos and heading back into Thailand. Emma can’t wait to see a 7-eleven store again!

George update: The drugs did the trick and George is no more. Or at least he isn’t moving any more. Then again, he wasn’t the most active hookworm in the first place. Only 6 weeks left to catch some other tropical disease. Dengue fever seems popular round here.